


Leave Me in Your Memory

by CleanBandAid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Dean-Centric, Depression, Gen, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt No Comfort, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 10:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5160323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CleanBandAid/pseuds/CleanBandAid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean got hurt badly on a solo hunt, and no one's there.</p><p>(Trigger warning: depression, death.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave Me in Your Memory

The bleeding had stopped, but he still needs to clean the wound, make sure it won’t get infected. Dean turned awkwardly (and, of course, painfully, though he would never admit it out loud) to inspect his badly injured back though the small dirty bathroom mirror. He winced at the image. It was not a pretty sight, three long and ugly claw marks stretched across from his left shoulder blade to his waist flashing in angry red. They were deep enough to be counted as a serious injury. It was definitely going to take a hell lot of time (and pain) to clean it and patch it up all by himself. (Rule one: no hospital.)

_I wish Sammy’s here._

The thought that came out of nowhere sank his heart. He never thought it would still hurt this much after two years. Sure, he was proud of Sammy, proud of his baby brother who stood up and had enough courage to do what he can never do – including leaving his family behind and seeking for a better, _safer_ life. It was the best for Sam. It is.

Dean shuddered again, not from the cold air, but the clear heartbreaking memory of the day his brother walked out of that crappy motel room, lips pursed thin and slammed the door forcefully followed by his dad’s angry screams of “don’t come back – don’t you ever dare to come back.” How could he ever forget that scene? With his baby brother, his most important thing in the world, abandoning the family (abandoning _him_ ), Dean felt an essential part of him had been torn out alive and ripped apart (like his heart, no, more like his soul), bleeding and had never stopped bleeding ever since. 

It became worse when his own father left him. Said it was better to work apart, more efficient, since Dean is capable of hunting alone now. _Yea, more like he need to get drunk and forget about this mess, forget about this family, forget about Dean (who was never important enough for dad to care anyway)._

He crouched down slowly onto the cold, filthy bathroom floor. Head against the cabinet and eyes closed to drawn out the too bright light. It was unlikely the flashing dull pain under his ribs and the sharp sting on his back will mercifully go away any time soon. Dean took a trembling breath and focused on listening to the deep wheezing of the broken heater. It had a little calming effect, reminding him the countless times of his father snoring lightly on the other bed while Dean was holding Sam close to his chest under their own blanket, carefully listening to his brother’s steady strong heartbeats as moonlight seeped quietly through the salted windows. It was their own special version of home before it shattered to pieces.

Dean didn’t notice when he fell asleep, and honestly, he don’t know if he should even care anymore. What’s another scar to him? No one would see them anyway. No one would bite their lips and push a trembling finger along the cut, no one would look at him with beautiful hazel eyes with worries and love spilling out like ocean waves, no one would beg him to take care of himself and bury their nose into the curve of his neck. No one would know (or care) if he dies.

The heater continued to wheeze. The fluorescent light was still flashing. The moon was hanging low and breathing soft pearl light into the motel room. In the filthy bathroom with cracked mirrors, a man stained the floor with so much red only the darkness could drown them away.

 

 _“Dean! God, you bleeding way too much.”_ He dreamed.

 _“I’ll get the first aid kit. Don’t even think about moving away from that couch.”_ He knew he was dreaming.

 _“Ha… It don’t even look that bad…”_ He couldn’t wake up.

 _“Don’t go to sleep! Dean! Listen to me!”_ He didn’t want to wake up.

_“Dean… Please…”_

_I’m sorry._

 

The world was still moving like a freight train. People busied themselves with problems that didn’t mean anything at all, walking around like they had never taken a break. People were blinded and they breathed and moved like fish in a tank. Every minute, some people got on the train, some got off.

However, some, were forgotten like they had never existed.

**Author's Note:**

> First fic! I'm very sorry for any grammar mistakes. Kudos and comments will be greatly appreciated!


End file.
